thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
