answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize