Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
