Need sex. Gaining weight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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