Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
