Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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