haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
