dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
