Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
