Sry I called you an 8
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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