apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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