You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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