But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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