I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i've created a new STD.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?