i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...