hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.