Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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  (404): I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period http://tfl.nu/z8bc
  Replies (17) Good night (1001) Bad night (3312)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.

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  (201): If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now. http://tfl.nu/xijf
  Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am midnight drunk by noon

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  (773): I am midnight drunk by noon http://tfl.nu/nu2g
  Replies (7) Good night (4578) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (2245) Bad night (6007)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club

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  (507): Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club http://tfl.nu/ln6l
  Replies (10) Good night (3575) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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  (570): Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/d944
  Replies (23) Good night (5549) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...

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  (806): And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice... http://tfl.nu/3gqd
  Replies (16) Good night (2917) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  (484): judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart http://tfl.nu/l5ge
  Replies (2) Good night (2363) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk

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  (614): I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk http://tfl.nu/rn5q
  Replies (4) Good night (2576) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.

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  (407): I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity. http://tfl.nu/5ec6
  Replies (23) Good night (4862) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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  (212): He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode http://tfl.nu/pfoq
  Replies (26) Good night (2217) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop

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  (925): I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop http://tfl.nu/0pj9
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

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  (480): Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me? (1-480): Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out? http://tfl.nu/ggfq
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there

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  (413): omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there http://tfl.nu/wvl8
  Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (368)

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