Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my sisters under your porch take her home
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
