i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He better not be in your backpack
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.