he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sorry about my life...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I touched a dick in church today
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
