Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

need another drink. this is the easiest way

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(417): View more from Missouri

He has such a weird drunk-voice.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

dude, he's deaf.

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(516): View more from New York

She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

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(818): View more from California

his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

(1-520): View more from Arizona

Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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(631): View more from New York

I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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(208): View more from Idaho

That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

(208): View more from Idaho

Especially drunk mermaids.

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(707): View more from California

Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.

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