Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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