Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
