question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
