How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize