Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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