sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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