jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize