Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
