wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
