I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
