hotel room ftw
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
