he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
