I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
