Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
