Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
