remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
