I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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