I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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