My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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