All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
