We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
