I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
