Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
