You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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