I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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