ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
