Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
