he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
