Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
