hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize