AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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