he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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