i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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