Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize