I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
