I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're a waste of cheezeits
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
