Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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