watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well I just put wine in my tea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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