sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
