We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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