I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
