The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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