On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
