grandma shit on top of the toilet
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
