I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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