I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
